Time for a little reflection.
It's been a busy year. Reading back on the posts from earlier this year, I think I've grown a lot in so many different ways.
Currently, I'm sitting on the floor of our new apartment. Our couch is pending..so is much of our furniture, but it's refreshing. Keegan has been working nights this week, which means he'll be working tonight during new years. Happened last year too. Disappointing, but at least he got Christmas this year? Gotta look up right.
I'm still deliberating over whether I'd like to go to my parents for new years or if I'd rather just stay at home, by myself as the calendar ticks over to 2016. I'm leaning more towards the latter, but question whether that will be the most depressing end to 2015...or will it be okay? Guess there's only one way to find out. It's not that I don't love my family and friends, but last year I just ended up wishing Keegan was around for the celebrations.
2015 has been full on. Keegan started Neuro, we had to adjust with family, this was our first full time year at a new church, I started at a new school, we moved twice, I got my first car (thanks Mum and Dad), our apartment was finally tangible, I had a gym membership (first time in my life), played netball for a season, met some pretty awesome South African Jewish friends, kayaked with dolphins in Rose bay, put my housewife skills to the test and actually accomplished a lot more than I can remember. I think the hardest part of all of this, was that, for the most part, I had to do it on my own. But what I've learnt is that I'm a lot more capable than I thought, stronger than I feel and smarter than I think.
I didn't do my whole year alone though (gotta give Keegan credit). We went to Melbourne for my birthday, stayed over night in the Blue Mountains for a long weekend and went to New Zealand for a few days. When he's at home, he does try to help me out where he can. He's becoming more sensitive to my 'quiet emotions' and I've been a little better at communicating as well. Honestly, I have an amazing man beside me and when he can, I know he does his very best to not only look after me but to keep me happy. He dances for me when requested (he's not a dancer) and serenades me often. He shares his stories from work, opens my eyes to the world around us, he's patient with me when I don't understand (especially when it comes to economics and finances, but I'll get there). He takes on our household finances and deals with things that I don't get to - like booking our dental appointments.
Looking back, the one defining moment of 2015 was when I blew up at him for not having the time and energy to spend with me. He sat me down and reassured me that if I wasn't able to take it anymore, he would quit his job for me. That our relationship was way more important (despite what it may seem) than his work. I know I complain and my situations can be somewhat depressing, but when I look at my husband, I see so much potential in him. There are gifted kids out there and hard workers who just power on, but Keegan, he's both, he's special. It takes a really 'gifted' person to do Neurosurgery but what he also has above some others is that he is a disciple of Jesus. Regardless of how tired he is, he's kind, gentle and humble. He'll never look down on anyone. He understands the power of words and always uses them to build others up. He loves God and always wants to do what He has planned for us. How could I keep such an amazing human all to myself? That would be pure selfishness.
So despite my rants about how tough life can be I don't think I'd want it any other way. Besides, I know this is all training for what God has planned for our future.
To my Dec 2016 self, don't forget to reflect and I'm excited to hear about what the year has install for this little family.
Lesson #5: Reflect often so you don't lose sight of what is ahead.
Psalm 119:15 ESV
I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.
Psalm 1:1-6 ESV
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.
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